Are you worried because you suspect that someone you know is in an abusive relationship? Have you recognised signs of abuse in your friend? Are you not sure how to provide them with adequate support?
Types of domestic violence 1
Emotional abuse: includes undermining a person’s sense of self-worth through constant criticism; belittling one’s abilities; name-calling or other verbal abuse; damaging a partner’s relationship with the children; or not letting a partner see friends and family.
Psychological abuse: involves causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner or children; destruction of pets and property; “mind games”; or forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work.
Financial or economic abuse: involves making or attempting to make a person financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, and/or forbidding attendance at school or employment.
Physical abuse: is any unwanted physical contact with you. It involves hurting or trying to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, burning, grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hair-pulling, biting, denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use, or using other physical force.
Sexual abuse: involves forcing a partner to take part in a sex act when the partner does not consent, unwelcomed touching or exposure, revenge porn, putting pressure on you about contraception or abortion choices.
Recognising signs of domestic abuse
There are many forms of domestic abuse. Many people are not sure if that they are in an abusive relationship. The following questions can help you to think about how your friend is being treated in their relationship:
Does their partner…
- Embarrass or make fun of them in front of their friends or family?
- Put down them or their accomplishments?
- Make them feel like they are unable to make decisions?
- Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
- Tell them that they are nothing without them?
- Treat them roughly — grab, push, pinch, shove or hit them?
- Call them several times a night or show up to make sure they are where they said they would be?
- Check their cell phone or email without permission?
- Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing them ?
- Blame them for how they feel or act?
- Pressure them sexually for things they aren’t ready for?
- Make them feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
- Prevent them from doing things they want – like spending time with friends or family?
Do they…
- Sometimes feel scared of how their partner may behave?
- Constantly make excuses to other people for their partner’s behaviour?
- Believe that they can help their partner change if only they changed something about themselves?
- Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make their partner angry?
- Always do what their partner wants them to do instead of what they want?
- Stay with their partner because they are afraid of what their partner would do if they broke up?
If you notice any of these things in your friend’s relationship or they mention these concerns to you, your friend may be in an abusive relationship and may need help. Please continue reading here on what you can do for support: www.loveisrespect.org
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1 United Nations
Photo by Sydney Sims
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