This #WorldMentalHealthDay, we would like to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world and to mobilise efforts in support of survivors of domestic violence. Up to 84% of survivors suffer with PTSD, 77% with depression, 75% with anxiety, and 40% with substance abuse. Domestic abuse also severely affects children (Intl Journal Mental Health Psychiatry). Many studies from the World Health Organisation (WHO), the UK’s NHS, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have found strong links between poorer educational outcomes and higher levels of mental health problems for children exposed to domestic violence. The national economic cost of domestic and family violence to the United States is estimated to be over 12 billion USD per year (National Library of Medicine). It’s important that we talk about this. It’s important that we take concrete steps to help!

Here are some simple steps we can take to help survivors overcome and mitigate the effects of mental health:

1. Create an emotional safety plan which emphasises emotional wellbeing while planning around physical safety; it places personalisation care for each individual’s emotional needs in “assisting you to feel accepting of your emotions and decisions when dealing with abuse.” Here are some essential tips you can remind yourself of to maintain an emotional safety plan that works for you:

• Seek out supportive people who can help create a calm atmosphere to think through difficult situations and discuss potential options.
• Identify and work towards achievable goals by calling a local resource to see what services are available in your area. When you’re ready, take small steps to help you feel more in control.
• Creating a peaceful space for yourself by designating a physical place where your mind can relax and feel safe can help you work through the difficult emotions that arise when dealing with abuse.
• Remind yourself of your inherent value because you are special and important, and it’s never your fault when someone chooses to be abusive to you. Their actions are no reflection of the great value you have as a person.
• Remember that you deserve to be kind to yourself by taking time every day to practise self-care because moments like these can go a long way in helping you think more clearly and make informed decisions.

2. Develop a self-care plan which can help you enhance your health and wellbeing and manage your stress. There is never one solution to fix all aspects such as physical, psychological, and emotional. Only you will know which self-care plan fits you. Here are some tips to help you develop a self-care plan:

• Fill your self-care plan with activities that you enjoy and that support your wellbeing. Keep this in a place where you can see it every day and share it with someone you trust.
• Stick to your plan and practice the activities regularly.
• Re-assess how you are feeling at the end of one month and then three months. Plans can take over a month to become habits, so check-in and be realistic about your own self-care plan.

3. Explore a survivor’s strengths means having a clear idea of what they are. Most of us do not recognise our own strengths, and that is okay, because the tips below are guides to help you notice your true strength potential:

• Identify key strengths words such as humour, fairness, curiosity, etc. and remind yourself every day that you embody each word as your own being.
• List the strengths you possess that help you move forward
• Describe a specific time and methods your strengths were able to help you
• Solidify your strengths in never letting anyone tear you down by psychological and emotional attacks. It’s not easy, but you are worthy of yourself first.

4. Learn to set personal boundaries is about learning the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships. That is, everyone should learn to say “NO” to others when they want to, but they should also be comfortable with intimacy and close relationships. This means ‘balancing’ relationships and being self-aware of rigid boundaries (distancing) and porous boundaries (too involved). Here are some tips to help you be more self-aware and promote healthy relationships in your daily life:

• Physical boundaries refer to personal touch with healthy boundaries Being self-aware of what is appropriate and what is not when someone enters your personal space
• Intellectual boundaries refer to thoughts and ideas with healthy boundaries by respecting your ideas and not belittling them at every opportune moment.
• Emotional boundaries refer to personal feelings with healthy boundaries means the development of gradual personal sharing of information over time with the building of trust and not by someone invalidating another person’s feelings.
• Sexual boundaries refer to the emotional, intellectual, and physical aspects of sexuality with healthy boundaries involving mutual understanding and respect of limitations and desires between partners. Never pressurise, coerce, or leer at someone into sexual acts.
• Material boundaries refer to money and possessions, with knowing when to share and with whom. Violations mean someone steals from you and damages your possessions or pressures you to lend them your possessions.
• Time Boundaries refer to how a person manages their time by setting aside enough time for work, hobbies, relationships, and so on.Never be pressured to give into another person’s demands by giving them too much of your time.

5. Try out various simple mindfulness exercises as they will create a calm and self-reflective approach to dealing with stress by creating self-realisations and self-worth in strengthening your inner and outer strengths while creating focus in your everyday life. Here are some hints to help you create your own mindfulness exercise:

• Find a quiet place where you are not disturbed for 10 minutes of quiet meditation, simple breathing, or even just to think of nothing by clearing all thoughts to reset yourself.
• Body Scan is to pay attention to your physical sensations throughout your body which means to become aware of all the sensations and senses from tip to toe and back again throughout your body. Remember, move slowly, and just pay attention. It will create a sense of self-worth.
• Mindful Eating is selecting a simple food you like and taking your time enjoying it by paying attention to the smell, colour, taste, weight, shape, size, and light or shade it gives. Helps you to appreciate the fine details that we so often miss in our hectic lives.
• Five Senses is the use of your senses by looking to see what was not noticed before such as the shades of light, to feel what you have not felt before like the floor or grass beneath your feet, to hear what is not heard before like the thick of a cloak or drop of water from a tap, to smell what is not smelt before like flowers or leaves, and to taste what is not tasted before like sip a drink or chewing gum. All are guidelines to help us to be self-aware of our surroundings and our own self-value in everyday life.
• Seek professional mental health support. It is essential to assist you in moving on by bringing an issue to a close and assisting you in regaining or rebuilding your self-esteem in order to establish a brighter future. Getting professional assistance is crucial because it might result in new insights and solutions for your stress and anxiety issues. You can get many suggestions from a qualified counsellor about how to effectively manage your fears and anxiety (Hope Therapy Center). Never be scared to ask for assistance because you are deserving and have the ability to bring about positive change.

Mental health is critical to one’s overall well-being and wellness. Let us do our part to help survivors of domestic violence gain access to and support in order to build a better future free of abuse and stigma and filled with love, respect, and compassion.

If you are unsure about your relationship, please chat completely anonymously to Sophia at anytime: www.sophia.chat

We hear you. We are here for you. We believe you. 

Written by Simon Sundaraj Kühn and Spring ACT.